I haven't been feeling so great about nursing school lately.
In spite of studying harder than I ever have in my life, I have the worst grades I've ever had too. I have had this creeping dread that I couldn't name.
Then I read this thread and it made me smile.
It seems that during the last semester of nursing school, all order breaks down, that bonds with classmates begin to unravel and nerves begin to fray. This comes from the competition to get internships and jobs in the area. Whenever a classmate announces their accomplishment, the rest of us die inside a little bit.
It was getting to me for a minute, but then I read the open letter above and I felt a lot better. I suppose it happens to everyone their last semester of college in whatever field they hope to enter. A gaggle of graduates tries to squeeze into a small pool of available positions. It reminds me of a National Geographic special where increasingly desperate crocodiles are writhing around in a muddy lake that is shrinking by the day.
I decided to pull myself out of the pond and stay focused on what is in front of me. Yeah I should be shopping for shoes to match my slacks. And yeah, I should be schmoozing and networking to try and get a nice internship of my own. But frankly, I don't have the stomach for it right now.
I'm worried about passing the exit exam. If I can't do that, the nicest, cushiest internship in the world won't make a difference. Besides, I've gotten reassurance from all around, from friends, coworkers, my partner and online acquaintances that I'll be fine. I've been told to just chill out; that I won't have a problem finding a job no matter what. I'll be a nurse, and even without an internship, I'll get to work with a preceptor no matter where I go. They aren't going to let me drown my first day, or week, or month on the job. I'll have support and help, and even though it may be shorter than if I had an internship, I'll still have help just the same.
Even though I have to hustle to get through these last 70-odd days of school, I'm not going to worry so much. I'm going to stop eating my heart out and be genuinely happy for my classmates who score jobs and internships. I'll be okay.