Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Lay Down All Thoughts, Surrender To the Void

I took the LVN board exam yesterday. Here are some observations made during my experience.

1. It helps to drive to the testing center some time before the test to you know exactly where you're going.

2. Taking a dry run to the testing center doesn't help if you don't get up early enough.

3. Everyone who has a white car drives really slow in the fast lane. As I was racing to the testing center every idiot that was driving slowly in the left lane and wouldn't let me pass was driving a white car.

4. I hate white cars.

5. If you react to stress by getting a case of the trots, take some over-the-counter medication for diarrhea.

6. Taking the anti-diarrheal medication after you get to the testing center doesn't help.

7. When you take the test, you will not recognize about 75% of the information as having anything to do with what you've studied.

8. No amount of studying in the world will prepare you for this.

9. When you freak out about not understanding 75% of the test, you will not notice that there is a calculator button in the lower right corner of the test screen, and you will do all the math by hand.

10. When you stop at the convenience store to buy a pack of smokes to self-medicate following your disappointing testing experience, the clerk will humor you and ask to see your ID.

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